~ written by Connie Dunmyer
What’s more important… my actions or my reactions? What do I do, or what do I say, when someone treats me badly? Or more so, when someone treats my family or friends badly?
I have often said that there should be support groups for P.K.’s – preacher’s kids. I have never met a preacher’s kid that is not still wearing the scars received by way of the church. And speaking as a P.K., I know that we all share many of the same stories. Then to be a preacher’s wife, and watch as little by little, my own children getting sliced and diced by those same people – well, let’s just say I haven’t always had the most loving reactions.
Psalm 11 is a song written by David. He was not a preacher’s kid. But he raised some “king’s kids” – and they had their own issues. David was not without enemies – within his own family, his own kingdom, his own “church”… people who thought they knew God better… trying to force their own will, their own philosophies, their own ways, their own power-grabs.
But David knows Where and to Whom he must run – especially during those times.
“In the Lord I take refuge.” (vs 1)
And so David does. As do many of us.
But problem-people still exist and still cause trouble – whether or not you’re a P.K. or a King’s kid. We all have those interactions.
“The wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart.” (vs 2)
I can’t say that every preacher’s kid is always “upright in heart”. But I can tell you that they’ve seen more than their share of “arrows being shot” at their father, their mother, their family… from the protected shadows of the church.
During those times, we are quite certain that God does not see. But verses 4 reminds us “The Lord “sees”, “observes”, and “examines”.
As a human being, when I see, observe and examine – I tend to REACT. My emotions rise within me and I tend to take action or say nasty words that will supposedly “right the situation”. However, since it is my emotions that are at play, I wonder just how “right” my reactions are.
Verses 6-7 say: “On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot. For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face.”
It would seem that God is saying that because HE has seen, observed and examined – that HE will also do the punishing.
Hmmmm… this sounds familiar. It reminds me of some other verses:
Romans 12:19-21 – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay, [Deut. 32:35]’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. [Prov. 25:21,22]’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Is it possible that when God says that “HE will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur” that He is actually referring to the ACTS OF LOVE that He has called me to perform to the very ones who have caused the pain?
Perhaps, rather than reacting according to my emotions, I should be reacting according to scripture. And if I do good works and acts of love toward those who have caused so much pain – even to my children – that may well open a door for God to do what only He can do. Create justice. Bring about correction. Cause repentance.
It is true that I cannot do this in my own emotional-human-self. That is a foregone conclusion. But that is why Jesus gave me the Holy Spirit. And I can say that on the occasions I have done this, doing good to those who have hurt me, I’ve seen how they can practically “gnash their teeth” because they get so angry. It’s truly like I’ve heaped something really hot upon their head and heart. They would have preferred retribution, because then they feel justified. Love and forgiveness removes their sense of justification.
Matthew 5:43-44 – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…”
My heart is the seat of my reactions. And it’s important to remember that the love Jesus is talking about isn’t about emotion. It’s about actions and reactions. I don’t have to FEEL love toward those who have hurt my family. But I do need to forgive. And I need to act out the love of Jesus as opportunities arise. For my sake – and for theirs. God loves… justice AND people. So I can trust Him with it, because God loves me.
We should all pray for each other. We all have problem-people in our lives. It’s just the way life is. But may I suggest that you say a special prayer for your pastor’s kids – whether they are young or grown. Pray for the strength of the Holy Spirit to be upon them. Pray for their protection from the arrows David sang about. Pray that those with scars can be healed by finding forgiveness as their balm. And pray for those who have walked away from God, that the Holy Spirit won’t give up on them, but will keep loving on them and drawing them back to Jesus.
This song was written by several preacher’s kids, including Brandon Lake and Nick Jonas. They got together one night sharing stories and put this song together. It’s a good song for everyone. It’s a great song if you are a preacher’s kid.
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© 2026: Connie F. Dunmyer, All Rights Reserved.