~ written by Connie Dunmyer
The year was 1990. We were pastoring a church. In that denomination, every couple of years there was a “renewal vote” when members voted on whether or not to keep us as pastor of that church. I spent a great deal of time praying and finding Bible promises for several weeks prior to the vote. The morning of the vote arrived, and the promise-scripture I received was:
“Fear not. It is I.” (Matthew 14:27, Mark 6:50, John 6:20)
And so I walked confidently into that buzzsaw-church-vote that ripped my heart out of my chest. I felt let down. By people, yes. But I felt like God let me down. I thought He promised me the outcome I prayed for. Only to be shattered by reality.
My focus was on the “Fear not”. And so in my mind if I “didn’t need to fear”, that meant it was going to be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.
BUT GOD wanted me to focus on the “IT IS I” portion.
In the original Greek, this phrase is Egō eimi, and it means "I Am". This is the same name God used for Himself when calling Moses to free His people.
13 Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” 14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”
So in other words, what I read that morning was “I AM. Don’t be afraid.”
It was many years later, that I finally came to realize that I read it and heard it wrong. I thought God was telling me one thing – because that’s what I wanted to hear – but in fact, God was say to me “Don’t freak out. Even though this isn’t what you want, I AM the One doing it. Trust me anyway.”
A week before my eye surgery, my grandchildren came over. They made me cards – which is like their superpower. They are so special. The cards essentially had the same message – “Don’t be afraid”. My grandson’s had a scripture attached to it – Isaiah 41:10, “Fear thou not; for I AM with thee.”
Today as I was contemplating “Fear not. It is I.” in the Gospels, I looked up and saw that card and scripture. And I almost jumped out of my chair as I realized that it’s the same message.
So I started a little research.
Isaiah 41:10, Orthodox Jewish Bible
10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am Eloheicha; I will strengthen thee; indeed, I will help thee; indeed, I will uphold thee with My yamin Tzedek [right hand of righteousness].
Within this passage is another name that God calls Himself: Eloheicha.
Which means “your God”.
Don’t skim over that. Read that again. I did. Over and over.
It’s singular.
It’s personal.
This is God saying to me, “Connie, I AM your God.”
In this verse, He does not use the name “Eloheinu”, which means “our God”. He’s not only interested in us as a people or a group or a church or even a family. He is personal. He is intimate. He is calling out to me (and you) for a direct one-on-one connection. The same “I AM” that called Moses, that parted seas, that tore down walls, that provided for thousands of people for 40 years IN THE DESERT … yes, THAT GOD … calls Himself my God. Even though He knows all about me – my sin, my screw-ups, my misunderstanding, my rebellion, my fears, my temperament … and He still calls Himself MY God!
Well now I am intrigued. Where else can I find this Name of God?
God uses it again in Deuteronomy 4:31:
31 For the Lord your God [Eloheicha] is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Who? Me? You are MY merciful God? You will not abandon or destroy or forget me personally? Even after everything I’ve done, and said, and thought, and felt?
Can I just say WOW!!
I think I’ve spent far too long thinking of “your” as being collective, like all people and nations. But no – this is personal. He is speaking TO me, FOR me, and He calls Himself MY God. I’m not saying it. HE is saying it! He is saying it to you, too.
God not only knew what would happen on that Sunday morning in 1990, but He has shown me that He planned it. It was Him. Oh sure, those dusty members who crawled out of the woodwork for the first time in 2 years THOUGHT they were putting one over on us … BUT GOD says “It is I”. And my very personal God has led me on a journey that I never could have dreamed of back then.
It hasn’t been a picnic much of the time. But when I put my focus on the “I AM”, on the “IT IS I”, I am far less likely to “fear” anything, including eye surgery. And I’m far more likely to “walk into any buzzsaw” KNOWING Who I belong to, and Who has proven His promises to be true. It’s rarely the way I picture it, or even the result I pray for, but it’s always good. Because it’s always the great “I AM”.
9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
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