~ written by Connie Dunmyer
PSA: Get Your Eyes Checked – even if you think you are seeing just fine.
I got some rather bad news the other day. It deals with my eyes and the prognosis isn’t what I’d hoped. Turns out I have a macular hole in my left eye. I had no idea until a few months ago that there was anything wrong. I passed it off as getting older. Turns out my right eye and my brain, have been covering up for my left eye for an indeterminate amount of time. The body is truly an amazing creation.
Having said that, the prognosis is that I will require surgery, but the vision lost in my left eye is probably gone forever. Had I known there was a problem earlier, perhaps it could've been restored.
That news hit me pretty hard. If you read my blogs regularly, you probably remember that I’ve had some pretty stressful experiences. When I took the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory last summer, my numbers came in at 438 – the danger-zone. And as it happens, I just took it again after my bad news, and my numbers are only climbing.
But I have a new practice. Regardless of the bad news, I “take the day”. And what I mean by that is, I give myself the day to be sad, mad, depressed, to cry, to scream, to eat a tub of ice cream, etc. I give myself the day. I don’t look for the bright side. I wallow in the dark. It’s important to remember that this is only permitted for “the day”. Not the week or month or year.
The next morning, I looked at my phone and saw I had a text. It was a text from an organization that had come in overnight. So it wasn’t a person that knew of my bad news. But the first thing I saw when I open the text are these words:
27 Behold, I AM the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?
(Jeremiah 32:27)
That simple verse told me that God was not absent. God sees my pain, my frustrations, my fears as though He were sitting here physically right now – holding my hand, holding my head, holding my heart.
And then while God is "holding my head in his lap", I remembered a lesson that I had just been studying a few days before. It's about the God Who Sees. The God Who Provides.
Genesis 22:14
14 And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.
Jehovah-jireh — Yehovah-yireh, literally interpreted, The Lord will see; that is, God will take care of that thing that is necessary for the comfort and support of them who trust in him: hence the words are usually translated, The Lord will provide. Genesis 22:8, uses the words Elohim yireh, God will provide; because his eye ever affects his heart. The wants he sees, his hand is ever ready to supply. ~ Adam Clarke Commentary
He is YHWH-yireh – the God Who sees… the God Who cares about what He sees… and He is providing for what He sees.
The Holy Spirit saw what was coming before I ever did. And He was filling and preparing me before the diagnosis.
I can’t say I have the right words to process this. I’m not even sure I know what to pray. I don’t know if God wants to heal me outright, or if He wants to astound doctors by improving what they say cannot be fixed, or if He wants to give me grace to simply live through this day by day.
God is the I AM. Not the “I was” or the “I can be” or the “Maybe someday”. He IS the great and ONLY “I AM” – very present … in the universe, in the world, in nature, in creation, in my heart, in my peace, in my mind, and in my body – my FLESH. God sees me. God created me. And He can certainly RE-create me.
Nothing – NO THING is too hard for Him.
From David Delfeld:
Jesus experienced a medical condition so rare that only a handful of cases have ever been documented: hematidrosis - sweating blood. It occurs when someone is under such extreme emotional anguish that the tiny blood vessels around the sweat glands rupture, mixing blood with perspiration. The Gospel writers weren’t exaggerating, they were describing a level of stress that the human body can barely survive.
Why does this matter? Because it shows that Jesus didn’t face the cross with detached calm or superhuman numbness. He stepped into the full weight of human fear, pressure, and sorrow - and felt it at a depth no one else ever has. The One who would carry the sins of the world first carried a cup of suffering so great that His body itself responded with blood. Before He redeemed humanity, He entered its deepest agony - willingly.
When I read this, I am encouraged. Yes – encouraged. Because Jesus was not disconnected from the pain. He wasn’t disconnected from the fact that He was going to pick up all of my sin (and everyone else’s). He wasn’t disconnected from the fact that the Father cannot look upon sin – thus, His Father would have to look away. All of what Jesus went through was MORE than even His human body could take. And Jesus did it anyway – on purpose – for me – for you – for all of us. He did it. He understands pain. He understands our pain. AND HE OVERCAME!
Jesus SEES our pain. Jesus UNDERSTANDS our pain. And Jesus can FIX our pain. Because Jesus overcame – He makes it possible for me to overcome – to get through this – to be healed – or to live His purpose for me without a healing.
The I AM is HERE, and it truly is well with my soul. May the Creator and Savior of my body & soul – and my eyes – be glorified in whatever He chooses to do in and through me.
The song below was sent to me as a reminder of Who Jesus is! It’s truly one of my all-time favorites and as I listened for the umpteenth time – the phrases that embed into my spirit are:
- I call You Jesus. I call You, I call You Healer
- Dead things come alive in the Name of Jesus
Speaking the Name of Jesus, and calling upon His Name, is above and beyond our wildest imagination. Healing. Grace. Power. Strength. Miracles. And dead things – dead cells – dead hopes – dead dreams – dead vision – dead things really do come alive at the Name of Jesus.
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