~ written by Connie Dunmyer
Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been writing about adversity – struggles – hard times. I’ve written that we cannot frustrate God or His plans. He’s never surprised, and they are already written into our story. Struggles are one way that God strengthens our spiritual muscles and causes us to grow. I’ve also written how through our own will – our choice – we can embrace and experience the love of God during these difficult days in spite of how we may feel.
So what are some things we can expect to learn, or what are some growth attributes we can expect to see and experience in our lives?
This list is by no means all-inclusive. But here are 10 things I have learned, grown into, and/or experienced:
- Dependence. Trust.
John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Deuteronomy 8:2-5 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, . . .”
With every struggle, every temptation, every pain point – I have learned more and more trust in our Good Father. I have learned that I cannot depend on others. I cannot even depend on myself. I do not have control – despite the illusion created around us. I am utterly dependent, like a newborn, on the ever-faithful love of God.
- Submission.
Submitting is not natural for me. (Just ask my husband.) I have a very stubborn spirit which God is working on. But it’s also important to understand that submitting is not like giving in or like a defeated general to a conqueror. But my submission lessons are as a patient voluntarily submitting to the skilled surgeon. Having learned dependence and trust, I have learned to resist less. To submit more easily.
- Scripture. Hearing from God.
I have learned to RUN to God by running to the Letter He gave me – His Word. And His Spirit will inevitably speak to my spirit.
Martin Luther said: “Were it not for tribulation I should not understand the Scriptures.”
- Patience. Perseverance. And other fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23.
Lack of patience has always been my biggest downfall. With each struggle that I embrace, I’m learning to rest and be patient as I wait for the Lord’s answer, fulfillment, or miracle. . . at least a bit more.
Also, I find that simply “enduring” a struggle is not the goal. I am meant to engage in that struggle with prayer, faith and even praise.
- Pruning.
“Cutting away unwanted and useless growth (bits & pieces) forces the plant to use its life to produce fruit. … God uses adversity to loosen our grip on those things that are not true fruit.” Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges
Fruit of the Spirit does not simply just “happen”. For fruit to grow in our lives, we have to be pruned – which hurts. But it’s all for good purposes. If you’ve ever tended to plants of any kind, but particular those that have some sort of fruit – you know this truth already. You have to get rid of the useless pieces – or even seemingly good-looking branches – for the purpose of greater growth. Better growth. Fruit, and not just leaves.
- Holiness.
Hebrews 12:10. “They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.”
“We agree with the teachings of the Scripture and assume that agreement means obedience. At least we intend to obey… But then adversity comes. We find we are unable to love from the depths of our hearts the person who is the instrument of the adversity.” Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges
I am not perfected yet. None of us are. However, God’s plan for us IS holiness. Thus our need for Jesus. But this is not an excuse for living unholy lives. Rather, since God knows me better than I know myself, He alone knows the root of some sin buried deep in my heart, that I have either ignored or forgotten. He will use struggles, temptations, and our deepest pain points to discipline us for the purposes of sharing in His holiness.
Service.
The story of Joseph is often used when thinking about how God uses struggles to put us into a place of service. However, God is God – and He could have just as easily put Joseph directly into Pharoah’s palace without his brothers and the pit and the slavery. But let’s consider that God also used these necessary trials to make him into the right kind of person for the responsibilities God would give him. . . which would save those many lives. I tend to want the “magical pixy dust”, or the “quick fix button”, but God sees ALL the ramifications involved and needed.
- Fellowship of Suffering.
Perhaps the hardest lesson learned while suffering is that “it’s not all about me.” In fact, there are times when it was never about me at all. Sometimes the suffering going on in my life is about someone else. And so when I am going through crap, so is someone else. They may be watching me without me realizing it. Or God may be calling me to come alongside them to help their growth. Either way, there is a fellowship of suffering that we share with one another.
- Relationship with God.
This is my favorite area of growth. I have come to understand that my relationship with God is less about my “effort” and far more about my “time” and “honest conversations.” When we try to “earn affection”, it just comes off as false. I liken it to a man who is in love with a woman who isn’t all that into him. He gives her lots of gifts, which she accepts and she loves the gifts. So she “plays the part” of the girlfriend for the gifts. But that’s not a real relationship – or at least not a good relationship. And it’s not honest.
I have determined that any acts of service or efforts on my part were never what God wanted. He wanted to spend time with me. He and I sit together for hours sometimes. I try to listen. Sometimes I write what I think God is saying, to give my mind more clarity. And I may be messing it up. But it’s ok. Because it’s honest. And I know that God knows my heart is completely devoted to His heart. Just like I want to spend time with my husband, God wants to spend time with me. Not for me to DO things – but to BE with Him. Trust me – it is amazing!
- Spiritual-Memory. Remember lessons and truths.
Hosea 13:5-6 “I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of burning heart. When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me.”
How often do I whine and call out to God and then when He delivers me I think “I will never forget that experience.” And yet I do. Because the very next time things get a little tough, I’m right back there, whining and complaining as though God had never done anything for me. But I have a lot of personal experience, as well as others’ experiences, from which I can draw upon. Often God will call upon me to remember what He’s done for me (and others) in the past, to help me in my current trial.
So yes, growing is painful. It's called “growing pains” for a reason. But it's for our good. Let’s be encouraged that God can be trusted to do only what’s best. And always remember that God, our Abba (Daddy), is also singing over us (Zephaniah 3:17) . . .
Show me that smile again. Don't waste another minute on your cryin'.
We're nowhere near the end. The best is ready to begin.
As long as we got each other, we got the world spinnin right in our hands.
Baby you and me, we gotta be the luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'.
As long as we keep on givin', we can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time, we got each other, sharin' the laughter and love.
( “As Long as We Got Each Other”, Warner Bros. written by John Bettis and Steve Dorff, sung by B.J. Thomas )
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